The More You Know, The More You Know You Don't Know... or Something.

I am currently reading "A New Kind of Christian" by Brian McLaren (thank you John Stephens for recommending the read, and John Hill for providing the book.) I'm still in the beginning, but thus far, the book talks about the transitions between ideas and perceptions of God. It talks about how we are completely conditioned to be "analyzers." We look at everything from a scientific mindset. This is "modernist" thinking. But before modernism, there was Medieval thinking, and before that, there was Ancient thinking.

Both of which are COMPLETELY different from how we look at God.

This fascinates me, because lately, I have had no idea HOW to look at God anymore. I don't know if I'm supposed to look at Him like my friend, someone I can go to with anything and tell all the trivial meaningless points of my day, or to look at Him like my king, to go to under complete reverence, bringing only the things worthy to be spoken to Him. I don't know anymore. I don't know how I should pray or how I should study or how I should introduce people to Him anymore. I don't know if I'm doing anything right. I don't know if I should fall flat on my face, or walk right up to Him. I don't know how to even be with Him anymore. I don't know how to hear from Him. Do I need to sit in silence, trying to calm my ever-chaotic mind long enough to get a whisper of glory? Or do I just need to trust that He will tell me what I need to hear, as long as I'm listening? Is He up there twisting knobs and turning dials to keep everything in a specific order or pattern? Or is He watching patiently for His children to ask for His assistance in lives they're directing? Is "He" even a "He" at all?

I don't know.

I don't know God the way I feel like I should. I don't even know how I should know God. 

That leads me to what I want to know. I want to know how all the "greats" looked at Him. I want to know how the people who thought of Him differently than I do looked at Him. I want a fresh perspective. And if fresh really means old, then I want that too. In the basics of this research, I found a gaping hole in what I knew about Christianity. 14 centuries of Christianity that I know NOTHING about.

I know about Paul and Peter and John and Stephen and the "Early Church". I know about the beginnings of the Protestant movement and how Luther revolted against the church. I know about Wesley. I know about Edwards. But... what about the in between? Who came after Paul and before Luther? Who taught the people? Who showed all the grace? Who worked humbly as God's servants?

I don't know.


I'm starting an endeavor. An endeavor to learn about the people who loved God. And hopefully, in the process, learn about the character of God himself (herself?). 

14 centuries of history that needs to be uncovered. 14 centuries that couldn't even BEGIN to be delved into as much as I would like. But just a basic knowledge. A basic knowing of how they thought and what they believed and how they changed things.


Wish me luck :)